Family screen time rules: a simple plan you make with your child

Why written rules work better

Rules said in passing bend with tiredness, with the weather, with how loudly your child is crying. To a child aged 3 to 8, that means one thing: it’s always worth trying, because maybe today is different.

• A written rule doesn’t get tired. You point at the sheet instead of raising your voice.
• Your child took part. A rule they drew a picture for is easier to accept than one handed down.
• Every adult says the same thing. Mum, Dad, the babysitter and the grandparents all look at the same sheet.

Making the plan in five steps

1. Pick a calm moment

Not in the middle of an argument, and not with the phone in your hand. A weekend morning at the kitchen table, with a big sheet of paper and crayons. You could start with: “Let’s make the tablet rules together, so we don’t have to argue about them.”

2. Keep it to five rules

At this age, five is already a lot. Each rule should be short, phrased positively and easy to check. “Tablet only after snack” is clearer than “don’t spend too long on the tablet”. For how much time makes sense at each age, see how much screen time is right at 3, 5 and 8.

3. Decide where devices sleep

A fixed spot outside the bedroom: a basket in the hallway or a shelf in the kitchen. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends keeping devices out of children’s bedrooms and keeping the hour before bed screen-free. Once the phone has its own “home”, where it spends the night is no longer up for discussion.

4. Say in advance what happens when a rule is broken

A small consequence, linked to the rule and the same every time: “If we don’t stop when time is up, tomorrow we start five minutes later.” Not “no tablet for a week”, said in anger. Big, improvised consequences don’t teach a child how to stop; more on that in why using screen time as a reward or punishment backfires.

5. Draw the plan and put it where everyone sees it

Children who can’t read yet need pictures: a clock for time, a plate for “not at meals”, a moon for “not before sleep”. Stick it on the fridge and have everyone sign it, parents included. Agree from the start when you’ll look at it again, say in two weeks.

An example plan

For a family with a five-year-old, the sheet on the fridge might look like this:

• When: tablet after nursery and after snack. Never in the morning before leaving.
• How long: 30 minutes on nursery days, a little more at weekends, split into two sessions.
• Where: in the living room, not the bedroom. At night the phone sleeps in the hallway basket.
• What: only the apps and shows chosen together with Mum or Dad.
• How it ends: when the end is announced, we close it and move on to what’s next. If we stop on our own, we get a star.

Underneath, the consequence, written just as simply: “If we don’t stop, tomorrow the tablet starts later.” And one line for the adults: “Mum and Dad don’t use their phones at the table.”

When the adults break the plan

Children notice straight away if “no phones at the table” only applies to them. You don’t have to be perfect, but it helps to be visible. If you need to answer a message, say so out loud: “I’ve got a message from work, I’ll reply for one minute and put the phone back in the basket.” Your child sees that the rule belongs to the family, not that it’s a punishment for the little ones.

If you want a starting point, the AAP has a free tool, the Family Media Plan, at healthychildren.org. It’s a good source of ideas, but your own plan should fit on a single sheet.

Where Pauzi helps

Pauzi holds the part of the plan that’s hardest for a tired parent to hold: the time. You turn on child mode on your own phone, your child sees only the apps you chose, and exiting requires a PIN. A calm voice tells them how long they have, warns them before the end and says what comes next. With Premium you can set routines, and the Patience Chest gives them a star when they stop on time, just like the sheet on the fridge.